Burying Grandma at Tahoma National Cemetary,
Kent, Wash., 29 January 2010 (above)
Pastor Clements (above 2 photos)
Singing "My God and I" (above 2 photos)
Dad speaking (above 4 photos)
Pastor Jensen speaking (above 2 photos)
Our niece's corsage and our bouquet on Grandma's casket (above)
Laying Grandma to rest with Grandpa's headstone,our flower bouquet, and a handful of soil (above 3 photos)
Aunt Judy's grave (above)
"Morning has broken..." (above)Today we buried Grandma.
Covered by a
hazy soft
sun soft
Day.
Today I prayed,
"Deliver me from every evil deed,
from the lion's mouth,
and enter me safely into your kingdom,
to you be the glory and honor
forever."
Today I remembered,
"Our bodies are members of Christ's body,
and of each other."
Later I read,
part of Grandma's poem,
from her service program,
"When evening shadows fall,
I say to Christ as Savior,
Thank you for your guidance
and for being at my call."
I know Grandma is safe.
Grave, Where is Your Sting?
I used to fear the grave.
Dark, cold, wet,
but today God gave me special
moments
experiences:
Scented Bouquets,
Soft Soil
I tossed the carnation bouquet
that we made this morning
onto her casket
after the grave workers have lowered
Her casket into the grave.
The bouquet
-- coral carnations sage-trimmed and white --
clanged against the metal
as it landed,
While I said,
"Until we meet again, Grandma,
I love you"
As the grave workers stood by
patiently waiting
and Nikki and Aaron watched
And hugged each other
from behind me.
Then I threw in a handful of soil,
brown, soft, rich
-- comforting --
never fear some,
for the soil
and the flowers
are the land.
God fashioned people
from the land
and with the breath of his mouth.
The land is God's
the land is ours
the land is made to be beautiful.
A Spirit of Love Fears Not
I wasn't afraid.
I felt relieved
because we three
-- Aaron, Nikki, and I --
tended to Grandma one last moment
before she laid to rest.
Rest is peaceful
and not terrifying.
"God has not given us
a spirit of fear, but of
power, love, and a sound mind."
"God has made us His children
so we can call out to him."
ReUnited
Grandma is not alone because she's
One with Christ
part of us
and the land shelters
Her form until
Jesus returns and
the Angels' trumpet
shall resound louder
than any machine
used to bury her.
Indeed, loud enough
to wake the dead.
Triumph
"The dead in Christ
Shall rise first, and we
Shall reunite with them
and Christ
in the clouds."
Speaking to Serve
Mom and Dad's pastor Clements spoke
about knowing and following Jesus,
a message we knew Grandma would want us to share.
I appreciated this pastor
showing compassion to my mom
by hugging her and telling everyone
that it was okay to cry.
Pastor Jensen read from 1 Thessalonians,
speaking on the resurrection,
having known our family
since he buried
Great Grandma Marie.
Dad spoke
on this life being short,
So follow Jesus,
Who was the only one who endured separation from God.
We won't know that fate,
Dad said.
As Grandma once said,
"This life the only hell a Christian will experience."
Singing "My God and I"
Pastor, Dick, and Melody sang
one of Grandma's favorite hymns,
"My God and I,"
We walk through the meadow's hue
together
We walk and talk,
just as good friends do.
This earth shall pass,
but my God and I
We remain.
Yay, Grandma,
You made it,
You are with the Lord!
Knowing Love is Stronger than Death
I felt joy to
feel love to
comfort, to
give and receive hugs and kisses
with family
and friends.
I know again that
"Love is stronger than death,
More unyielding than the grave."
When I was afraid,
I didn't know that.
When I fear,
I forget.
"Perfect love casts
out fear,
for fear has to do with judgment."
If love is greater than death,
then love gives
and keeps life.
Death, Where is Your Victory?
If judgment means death,
and fear comes from judgment,
but love casts out fear,
then love is present at death,
So death is not such
a scary final thing
is it?
Restless Sleep
I had struggled to fall asleep last night
because when I saw Grandma at the viewing,
and rubbed her arms
covered in her pretty blue floral dress,
I realized for the first time
that she couldn't raise her arms
to embrace me.
That realization hit me hard
before I fell asleep,
and I wrestled with my thoughts,
bidding the tears stay inside,
and leave me be,
so I could sleep.
Grandma does not want such sorrow for me.
Yes, I miss her hugs,
that open, loyal, caring,
and yet practical love.
I had wrestled with my thoughts,
"Think of something else
-- anything --
doesn't it get easier?"
I prayed.
Ebbing Grief,
Stemming Tide
Then I remembered what Grandma said,
"Grief lessens over time,
but it doesn't go away completely."
This assures me on two counts:
The grief will lessen,
So I can live,
and move forward with my life,
and the grief will stay,
so I can remember
with love.
Living Memories Live On
I want to remember her alive,
believing this to be
her true form now
and when Jesus returns.
"Look up," Grandma said,
"Don't fear, for your redemption draws near."
This moment isn't so far away.
Beauty Beholds A New Face
Even though I miss her,
her hugs, conversation, smile, vivid eyes,
and her person,
I realized
-- I almost missed it --
that she wasn't wearing her oxygen tube anymore.
And her face looked beautiful without it.
Rousing Dreams
Last night I had struggled to fall asleep.
As I drifted twice to sleep,
a dream startled me awake.
I saw her face as it was at the viewing,
and her eyes snapped open to look at me.
I gasped out loud,
and the second time I told God
I didn't know whether
to feel
startled,
disturbed,
or happy.
I've chosen the latter.
She will wake up.
This I know for certain.
Supernaturally New
Still it's unnatural
to bury a person in the earth
because we weren't made for that.
God made a way
so I look forward to a
new creation,
new heaven,
new earth,
when the old passes away
instead of people.
Anyone in Christ
is a new creation
the old has gone
the new has come.
So we've a bit of paradise
inside us now
And is name is
Immanuel,
God with us,
Jesus.
God Remembers the Sparrows
This morning I had worried how I would feel
when we lowered Grandma in the earth today.
A bird chirped,
sweetly and simply,
outside the office window.
It told me the earth is not such a bad thing,
reminding me that God cares
for even the Sparrows that fall.
Grandma was sweet,
and she sang sweetly.
Grandma has died.
God cares for her, too,
as he does those who remain.
After all,
the birds need a tree with branches
to make a home and to sing.
Trees grow from seeds,
and the seeds must first
enter the earth
to shed its hull,
and so transform
to a new form,
a shelter,
larger
and more life-weilding
than before.
A tree never wished
to return to a seed.
Growing God's Kingdom
Jesus was right
when he compared
the kingdom of heaven
to a seed.
Healing Hearts,
Kindred Spirits
"God is close to the brokenhearted,
and save those crushed in spirit."
"The Spirit gives life to the body."
If God's Spirit is within Christians,
and our spirit goes to be with God,
leaving the body behind,
then our spirits are much closer than we think.
This can be a comfort to those
who intensely feel a chasm,
who see Death's facade as permanent.
As in a Mirror,
As By a Shadow
Make our faces reflect
your joy to deliver us
from our sorrow,
God and Grandma!
"We behold his glory
as in a mirror."
This life is as a shadow
cast by a tree
the tree is real,
yet we believe the shadow.
Feeling Love
When Grandma died,
while I cried,
I did not feel her death,
I felt her love.
So, too, with God.
Together, our love
yields life
and continuity.
New Address
No more beautiful name to look for
on her door
at Talbot
in hospitals
"Adeline McIntyre"
Room 256A
206A.
"It's all part of the process,"
I heard her say a couple times today,
just as she said to Grandpa.
A practical faith helps me
to find my way.
I still have a place to visit her,
though it's a new place now,
and so different,
it's quiet,
natural,
and beautiful,
and though I know such things are temporary,
they're symbols,
a place that I can go
to reflect and pray.
More importantly,
When I pray,
God hears me,
and Grandma is with God,
So she's not so far,
and her residence now is
Sweeter than any here
this world could provide.
Prayer
I love you, Grandma.
Sleep well in form,
rejoice in spirit
as you see Jesus' face
first of all,
just as you wished,
the Day you joined Him
in Paradise.
God keep her safe,
Pass her through
The fire unscathed,
the water uncovered,
and enter her safely into Your kingdom.
Fulfill Your purpose for her,
continue Your purpose through
and for us.
Make room for your good news
in our hearts, minds,
the work of our hands,
-- our very lives.
Reunite us again
to worship you
in spirit and
in truth:
Let us believe today,
without doubt's shadow,
as we peer from behind Death's shadow, that
Jesus, You are
our Way,
our Truth, and
our Life,
and we come to God
with and through you.
P.S.
Mom,
they buried Grandma
with Grandpa
and his headstone,
so they are no longer alone in that form,
they sleep together.
Did you see the sun stream
through the trees?
Remember:
Joy comes in the morning.
I tossed my bouquet into Grandma's grave,
along with a handful of soil.
Credits
Thank you to
Thank you to
Lastly, Thank you to
Thank you for reading,
Dena
- Tahoma National Cemetery and Faull-Stokes' Mortuary staff,
- Pastors Clements, Jensen, Thelma, Melody, and families,
- the landscape staff for promising to take good care of Grandma,
- the volunteer veterans,
- Dad for speaking (I'm proud of you!),
- and my parents for planning a special burial service for Grandma today.
Thank you to
- Cousin Barbi, for asking how I was doing and complimenting me on my progress;
- Cousin Aaron, for watching them bury Grandma with Nikki and I (we got your back, too, Cousin!);
- Cousin Tonia, for seeking me out for a hug;
- Cousin Amy, for being smart, cool, speaking my language, and be accepted to law school (Congratulations!);
- Uriah, Paige, Cody, Cody, and Meredith for being part of our family;
- Aunts Dora, Yvonne, and Laura, for supporting me in your unique way;
- Aunt Dora, for bringing Aunt Judy pink flowers;
- Uncle Alan, for giving me a handkerchief at Grandpa's wake years ago (I still have it);
- Cousin Jason, for saying hello with a friendly smack,
- Ruthie and Ron, for being faithful friends to Grandma and our family through the years;
- Andy, for supporting me and my family by coming;
- and so many others for being there.
- I am so grateful to have a family. It's wonderful to feel centered on love and unity again. It's difficult to fall to pieces in a nest of family called home. Let's keep in touch.
Lastly, Thank you to
- James, for remembering, procuring, and helping me style the flowers, one for Grandma and one for Mom. The drive was beautiful today, wasn't it?
- Grandma's pallbearers, Dad, Uncle Alan, Cousins Jason and Aaron, Ron, and James.
- Grandma, for mentoring and preparing me for this moment;
- and to God the father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, for sticking with me after the festivities quiet down
- and for helping me to fall asleep last night. I'm glad we're not alone because of you, "God with us."
Thank you for reading,
Dena
